Four One Forty

Cristine's Poems

Wow, not only poems, but also this play. It's a great play, so read with content eyes, and then move onto the hardcore poetry at the end.

-dan

A New Angle

By Cristine Bowen

Teacher: A middle-aged man with a short well-kept gray beard and glasses.

Kurt Angle: A muscular, half-naked man with a huge neck, a threatening composure, and crazy eyes. He is wearing a small red white and blue spandex Speedo, and huge black boots.

Erin: a small girl with a petite frame buried in a blue hooded sweatshirt.

Phil: A boy with big hair and glasses.

Jared: A boy of average height with a slim demeanor and short light brown hair. He is Erins disgruntled boyfriend.

Amy: The instigator

Seth: A large dirty boy who lives in a messy house decorated with beer bottles. He really likes Wrestling

Setting: An English class in college, some kind of literature class. There are around twenty people in the class. Desks abound and there is an old-fashioned chalkboard at the front of the classroom. It is in the old part of a college that hasnt yet been renovated and, because of that, still has some sort of personality. The teacher is about to delve in to a discussion on the Great Gatsby. The teacher wants to keep getting more perspectives on it. The book is one that has been discussed so thoroughly that the mere mention of its name is able to cause shudders of disgust to run through the bodies of several students. No one feels like talking about it anymore.

[Teacher enters the classroom full of students]

Teacher: Uhhello class, hows everybody doing today?

[Class doesnt respond]

Teacher: Well, um, ok, thats good. We are going to continue discussing The Great Gatsby today. [shudders run through several class members] Would anyone like to start our discussion?

[again, no response]

Teacher: [a bit frantically] Come on you guys, I know its the only book weve discussed so far this semester, and I mean I know the semester is almost over, but you need to understand that there are so many different ways to look at things and I mean they are all right, its all right to have all different perspectives, I mean no single perspective is wrong, they are all just different and its good for you, thats right this discussion is good for you but it will only be good if theres an actual discussion and an actual sharing of perspective, so please, could someone start? I mean, we just need a new angle on the book

[the awesome Olympic Gold Medallist turned World Wrestling Federation Star falls from the ceiling]

Kurt Angle: [in a booming voice] Did someone ask for Kurt Angle? [the class and the teacher stare in amazement and disbelief] Come on! Who called me, the awesome Olympic Medal Winning WWF Champion? [Kurt Angle pants] Man that was a rough trip, pretty exhausting falling through that ceiling, and its damn cold in here. Anyone got a jacket or something I can wear? [goose bumps start rising from his mostly bare flesh]

Erin: [Scrambling through her book bag and producing a large blue windbreaker with a soft lining] Here, [throwing it at him] you can use my jacket.

Angle: Thanks kid, whats your name?

Erin: Erin.

Angle: Well, its your lucky day! Im here to entertain you! Not only you but everyone here!

Teacher: Where the hell did you come from? I meanwhy are you here to entertain my class?

Angle: Im here to entertain you too, not just your class. Does it really matter where I came from? Someone called me and I came, and thats that.

Teacher: Who called you?

Angle: Someone mustve

Phil: [pulling a tape recorder out of his pocket] I can check on that.

Amy: [in haughty disbelief] Why would you record this class?

Phil: [trying to justify his position] Well, I got the tape recorder back from one of my band mates today. I thought I could use our discussion on a song or something. I mean it might be interestwait, why am I trying to justify myself to youjust whatever

Tape recorder: [teachers voice] please, could someone start? We just need a new angle on the book

Angle: [shouting excitedly] Thats it! It was you who called me! You obviously wanted me, needed me for something!

Teacher: Uh

[Angle continues staring at the teacher much like a toddler would stare at his mother for direction. the teacher looks uncomfortable]

Seth: [breaking Angles concentration on the teacher] You arent really a new Angle, Kurt. Youve been in the WWF for quite some time now, and on a grander scale, youre probably what, fifty?

Angle: [hurt] Fifty? Am I really aging that badly? [he stumbles out of the room upset]

Erin: [exasperated] Hey Sethwhy did you say that? It was way rude. It wasnt even true. He doesnt look fifty.

Seth: [confused] I dont know. I wasnt trying to be rude. I mean. I guess I wasnt thinking.

[Angles loud weeping is heard from the hallway]

Seth: [panicking] Someone needs to go talk to him!

[Seth looks at the teacher in hopes that he will assign someone to go comfort him]

Erin: Maybe you should go apologize, Seth.

Jared: [mockingly] Maybe you should go apologize, Seth. Why dont you go kiss your little boyfriend and make him all better?

Erin: [looking slightly hurt then forgetting her hurt so she can deal with the problem at hand] Well, someone is going to have to go out there, and if no one else will, its going to have to be me I guess

[Erin exits classroom]

Amy: Whats your problem Jared?

Jared: Erin is. She cares so much about that stupid wrestlers feelings, but she doesnt give a shit about mine. Whenever I try to see her, try to spend a few hours with her, its like I have to get in line behind everything else she has going on in her life. Weve been going out for two years and she doesnt make time for me. I mean, I understand she has other things to do that are important, but if I am important to her she needs to make time for me. She doesnt understand that having a relationship is a responsibility, just like work or school. If you dont work on it, it is going to fall apart, just like if you dont show up for work you are going to get fired.

Amy: Then why dont you fire her?

Jared: Well, I mean, I love her. She tries. She just cant do it. And I dont know. its complicated.

Amy: Well, why dont you tell her how you feel?

Jared: I have. I dont think she understands. She doesnt have time to think about it, so how could she understand?

Amy: Sounds ridiculous to me. If you are not happy and you dont try to change your situation then it is your fault you feel the way you do.

[Jared, realizing that they are the only ones in the class talking, and talking rather loudly at that, starts to feel awkward and abruptly ends the conversation. the class, now without distraction, starts wondering what will happen next in the Kurt Angle situation]

[Outside the classroom]

Erin: Are you ok?

Angle: [still weeping] Not really.

Erin: Wow, youre really crying. I mean. Sorry. I didnt mean to sound shitty. But I watch wrestling sometimes and its a bit hard to think of you as a real person with real feelings.

[this comment makes him cry harder]

Erin: [worried and feeling guilty about her comment] OhIm really sorry.

[she sits down next to him on the floor and tries awkwardly to comfort him by patting his massive shoulder and he calms down a little]

Angle: [through sobs and snot] See, thats the problem. No one thinks I have emotions, or a real personality. They are only interested in who I am on television. No one I meet genuinely cares about who I am. Theyre just like, Hey its Kurt Angle the wrestler!, but what about Kurt Angle the man? No one cares about him. No one ever shows genuine concern for my well being. No one ever asks how Im doing. Oh! I am not trying to sound ungrateful, I mean you did come out here to help me didnt you? And you offered me your jacket too

Erin: Dont worry about it. Its a nice jacket though, isnt it? Well, I mean its really special to me. It belonged an old Jewish man named Eli. I didnt really know him very well, but he gave me a good feeling. When he died his family didnt come down to South Florida to take care of his belongings so my mom had to gather them. They didnt even come to see him to take care of him when he was alive. He had a stroke, was in the hospital for a few days and then he died. I guess they couldnt take time away from what they were doing to see their father during the last days of his life. It kind of upset me. And they didnt even want any of his stuff. His son said to throw his things away. There were a lot of clothes and me and my sister divided them. I dont wear them very much, but it sometimes comforts me to just have them around. I feel safe in them because he was such a wonderful person. I guess I kind of feel like he protects me when I wears his clothes. Kind of silly, but well, uh, you know.

Angle: Its not silly. And wow, and you lent it to me to wear, even though its that important to you?

Erin: Well, you were cold. You needed it more than I did at the time.

[Angle is in bliss because Erin entrusted him with something special which in turn makes him feel special, Erin is amazed because something so little means so much to him]

Angle: Thank you so much for caring. You want to maybe, go out on a date and we can maybe get to know each other or something?

Erin: Oh, well, oh I mean, I am flattered but I cant really go out on a date. I have a boyfriend.

Angle: [with a moonstruck look on his face] What a lucky guy.

Erin: Well, not really. Our relationship, its a bit, you know, problematic? He doesnt think I have time for him. And I kind of dont. I have a lot to do. The last thing I need is a disgruntled boyfriend. I dont know how much longer we can last. I tell myself I will try harder to make time for him, but I never succeed. I want to. I love spending time with him, but its like I can convince my heart but not my mind. Then he ends up feeling neglected, and I end up being pissed at him for being upset at me. I mean, he expects too much from me

Angle: To want to spend time with you is not an unfair request. I mean, if you are in a relationship with him shouldnt you want to spend time with him?

Erin: I do, I just cant work it out.

Angle: If its worth it then you should. Do you love him?

Erin: Very much. But it just seems easier to let things go. We end up making each other miserable because I cant get my shit together.

Angle: Well, maybe you should get your shit together. Think about your old Jewish friend. I am sure his family loved him and wanted to see him before he died, but they just kept putting it off. Then he died and they cant really justify not going to see him while they could. Now this is kind of a drastic comparison, but I mean, what are people here for if not each other. If you love this guy, you should show him, because someday he might not be around anymore, and youll probably regret it.

Erin: Its just so hard

Angle: Well, just try to figure out what is important to you, and then do what your heart tells you. You seem to have a pretty good heart. Just listen to it.

Erin: [more optimistically] Well, Ill try

Angle: Hey! You want to go back in there and entertain some people?

Erin: Well, Ill go in there, but youll have to do the entertaining.

Angle: Alright!

[Erin and Kurt Angle re-enter the classroom. Angle lunges at the teacher who is standing awkwardly at the front of the room and attempts to start a wrestling match. The teacher reacts quickly and proves to be a worthy opponent for Angle]

Amy: Well, well, look at this. Maybe hes trying to get us to look at things in different ways and be more accepting because he wants to be a wrestler, but doesnt think it is cool for an educated person to condone solving all problems with violence. Maybe he thinks that through looking at The Great Gatsby in many different ways well look at him in many different ways, see who he is and accept him for it.

[Seth shakes his head and looks at her like shes stupid]

Amy: What? It was just a guess. Jeez. Cant say anything around here.

[Erin sits down next to Jared, who has fallen asleep on his desk. He wakes up and smiles, obviously happy to see her there, then gets a worried look on his face]

Erin: [smoothing his hair then reaching for his hand] Dont worry, were going to be ok.

[He accepts her hand in relief and they exit the classroom just as the teacher pins Kurt Angle and wins the match]

The End

wore my yellow silk dress that I sewed with green thread

and ran out into the night

my legs cold

goose bumps rising

a bit nervous that I might be late

I might be lost

but I went and

I dont know if I made people happy

if they even heard me at all as I played programmed parts of [not my] songs

on the flute

but I went for around an hour

and it feels like days ago that I was here in tallahassee

because it was

and I was thinking that I would still like to be in st augustine

surrounded by people I love

that love me

or in your bed in your room

waiting for you to get home from work

but falling asleep

you could come in

kiss me lightly

and fall asleep next to me

or around me

I think it would be nice

ii.

pat gave me a toy thats a penguin

all shiny plastic black orange

arms flailing feet on wheels

you can run it up and down a persons body and its limbs will flap

accordingly

he gave it to me when I was tired and hungry and happy

when I had spent the good part of a night being nervous

only to discover that I was ok

I slept holding onto kims arm

and woke up to awful sounds of kissing

more squishing than loving going on

I yelled once while revealing their faces

put the covers [backed] down and fell back to sleep

I left the next morning with amy after a friendly breakfast filled with beef stew and [no] salad

macaroni and cheese too

we sang weezer and some sweet lonesome crowded west the whole way home

my throat was raw as could be

iii.

trees some bright some so thin you can see the sun through them around them in them and they reflect in the water someone said the picture reminded them of loneliness that I was sad and solitude is where I must reside at least most of the time and last year I missed everything this year I keep busy and hate it I think too much I create too much loneliness through concentration of my problems enough loneliness to break ten men business does not solve problems it just causes physical exhaustion on top of already present mental exhaustion

iv.

the hot air balloon I painted has colors that drag and a disfigured basket

the colors that create the roundness of the barely inflated bulk leak into the colorless sky and the grass looks like someone just pissed at the bottom of the page

the basket is hardly even connected to the balloon

I bet I couldnt even fly two feet in it

(here are the new ones, I hope you enjoy these as much as I did)

to create

thin waist, dark outline,

blue smudges, shaded crotch, smooth breasts,

she outlines with her fingers,

creates with her hands,

makes the arms blur together,

makes the colors travel downward,

so that blue prevails, but green invades, takes over the hips,

red and yellow fingers,

the body is defined, the negative space creates a person,

but lacks in a head, lacks in thought,

lacks in worry and fear and paranoia, insecurities.

red slips down, rubs off fingers,

to become part of the woman,

to become part of the page, to become part of a story,

smudges around the shoulders, the crooked collar bone,

she lost her head

the loss of reason, the reason her fingers run together like water

like paint, like blood, like her hands,

they broke, too many fingers, too many actions,

preformed for too long, excess.

excess illogical behavior,

against the wall, underneath the window,

in the girl's room, in the sun coming through the window,

in the cool air being violated by the sunlight,

the sunlight fading the colors, the colors of the girl,

the violation of an outside source, the vileness of it all,

the remains of her head, the traces of color,

the red leaking from her cheeks, from her lips,

nothing remaining above, nothing remains, but, the colors

I write small and scared while my sister writes small and straight

abel was killed by his brother

was oh so bitter about the loss of his honour because of vegetables

I can just see the pile of radishes in my mind sitting humbly

while god passes them up for a steaming sacrifice

a pile of bloody meat

the damn dead

the day of the dead

you can eat cookies in the shape of lost loved ones

reminding yourself of their complete or incomplete lives with a delectable treat

wonder if on all souls day

cain eats up the memory of his brother

and doesnt think of him again until the same time next year

I cannot escape the memory of my sister even for one day

and she is still of the living

she cries a lot

hates where she lives and I love her

the last time I saw her

she was crying (as I said above, she cries a lot)

not in sorrow but because we were listening to someone singing theres no one to know theres nothing to do the citys been dead since youve been gone

and it was about me

and when we looked at each other

and had that same thought at the same time

we realized how lucky we are

that we know each others thoughts

and I realized I would never kill my sister

even if god chose her bleeding sacrifice

over my vegetables

always got anger

none of this art is inspiring me

but there is a girl in this class in this room who is inspiring

because the cut up bar of soap

reminds her of her arms

and his arms remind me of my arms

same coloring

same freckles

one I mistook them for my own

when they were wrapped around me

III

I dislike the giant light bright

actually I despise it

but its too involved to go into right now

the mattress man

is who I wanted to be

I couldve stood on the corner

for all to see

and advertised for my store

but now I have decided to be a new type of hero

Ive started wearing bobby pins in my hair

and they fall out everywhere

with them I can fight crime

and one day

the day of my demise to be exact

I will turn into a pile of bobby pins

on the floor

or on the bed

so when he wakes up bobby pins will be all hell see

it will be funny

I really like the blackness with

small patches of light

and hands, so many hands

those are real eggs hanging there

I tested one by weighing it in my hand

it mustve taken a long time to hang all of them up like that

we all came from eggs you know

shielded by a thin layer of womb

VII

I cant see

VIII

too neon

the floor is smooth and hard

reflects the door reflects the window

reflects the light

and squishes my breasts

so that my chest itself

feels like a wooden board

broad shouldered small breasted

this color is deep some kind of green like paint when I paint when I add blue to the green and get different shades

it looks like the different shades of color in the carpet that always causes me to see movement to see what looks like rain falling over the floor

looks like the same rain that causes the appearance of life the growth of plants the nourishment of animals

leading to the appearance of words to describe life to affirm moments that dont need affirming because they already exist

and whos left to clean up

a janitor in a museum or an usher in a theatre after a performance who eventually leaves walks home in the cool night air wearing his worn work shoes that need to be fixed

we all seemingly need to be fixed but no one really does everyone is flawed but that makes everyone more human, more beautiful

just as grass is grass even if it is torn out frayed broken split it still serves a purpose its existence is still important

it doesnt need to measure up it just needs to exist

existing is responsibility enough

* Cristine's poems were not titled, but are cataloged this way for your personal notes. Thank you.

If you would like your poetry published, contact the webmaster at: danielgriswold@hotmail.com